The Social Network Status
“What a weekend! It was a beautiful vacay at the cabin, fishing and boating in the sun, and relaxing with the kids and friends. Wish the weekend wasn’t over. “
The Translation
Oh, I’m sure the “relaxing with the kids” phrase tipped off some moms straight away. Relaxing with my kids? Relaxing with 4 boys under 10 years old? Were they unconscious, or was I?
What a weekend. I applied sunscreen to whining, moving kid-targets 43 times and not once to myself. Hello wrinkles and sunspots. I helped Boy 4 in and out of the house 400 times to go potty. I wished I could have planted my ass in the sand and drank a cocktail, but I got sand thrown in my face and my drink. Sat momentarily to wolf down my lunch, right as Boy 3 dropped his and shattered the bowl. Hoped for some peace while husband took 2 kids sailing, but instead spend the entire half hour praying that the kids wouldn’t get knocked out of the boat by the boom of the main sail. Busted my butt grilling dinner for friends, but didn't get to eat it until it was cold.
We stopped on the way home from the lake for an iced coffee and shakes (anticipating that sugar and caffeine bomb had kept me going all afternoon), but then accidentally dumped it on the floor of the car while pulling out of the drive-thru. Rescued only half the iced mocha, so the scent of it permeating my carpet would have to do. We told the kids to be quiet about 94 times, while my husband and I tried to have a conversation about a topic I can’t remember. I’m pretty sure we were talking about the kids, because what else would we have to talk about? At least we gave each other a hug before he collapsed, snoring on the couch. I stayed up until the middle of the night unpacking from our glorious vacation.
Thank God this little weekend vacation is over, because I need a rest. Monday morning never looked so good. Oh, wait. It’s summer vacation – there will be no rest or relaxation for me tomorrow. Crap.
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