6 Tips to Get Through Airport Security with Kids

So this is a blog about what not to do when traveling by air with kids - specifically 4 boys under age 12. Truth be told, most parents would have the good sense not to fly with these guys at all. Or at least have the forethought, planning and luck to do it more smoothly. But those parents' blogs would be too boring to read. These blunders are creating memories, right?

Mistake #1: Assuming your hub remembers the ins and outs of the airport from his frequent flyer, business traveler days. And assuming he'll know exactly where to park to get through VIP security in lightening speed when you are inevitably running late.
Reality? Hubby will have to circle around the parking lot and look at several maps to refresh his memory. The clock will be ticking with merely minutes until the flight boards. You will begin panicking and breaking into a sweat. The 4 boy-monkeys will be giving each other nervous looks like, "what have we gotten into? have mom and dad completely blown it?"

Mistake #2: Telling the kids to take off their shoes while waiting in line for security. Kids under 12 don't have to take their shoes off, you would know that if you read the sign. And do you know what 4 boys do with their shoes when idly holding them in their hands? Throw them at each other of course. This is frowned upon at the "super-savvy fliers" security checkpoint. And then the little darlings will hold up the line because they each have to put their stinky shoes back on their monkey feet.

Mistake #3: Letting a 6 year old pack his own backpack. What in tarnation could a 6 year old pack that would hold up a security line? Bubble soap. Yep, he packed a bottle of bubble soap and sidewalk chalk a friend gave him. I thought this was slightly cute - but TSA was not so amused.

Mistake #4: Assuming the 11 year old has his cell phone in his backpack, because you told him to put it in his backpack. He'll have it in his pocket, of course. Holding up the line again. Cute? Not so much.

Mistake #5: Expecting young ones to pull luggage with wheels through the airport. When a family of 6 is rushing through the airport with minutes remaining before boarding their flight, the kids suddenly get very tired and weepy. Luckily in situations like this we moms get superhuman strength and can balance 23 bags on our heads while carrying 2 children. Classic mom-becomes-pack-mule scenario. You know you've done this too.

Mistake #6: Letting your guard down. Because as soon as you think you have made it to your tropical destination safely and you pause to breathe in the warm air, one of your kids won't make it on the airport tram with the rest of the family. If you are extremely lucky, you will notice this blunder just as the doors are closing and have the quick reflex to stick your winter-plumped booty into the sliding doors to jam them open. Phew! Disaster averted by overindulgence in Christmas cookies.


By now I've probably used up my allotment of luck for the whole trip, so I'm really watching my backside. I recommend unwinding by drinking a glass of wine and blogging. It's kinda curative.

Good luck on your adventures, share you mistakes if you're brave enough to reveal em!